The Opportunity

On July 30th, Eric Burkowske of The RoomsLiving reached out to ask if we would be interested in hosting an evening of worship.  Something inside of me jumped!

Have you ever experienced that?  When your insides flip and you just know the Lord has dropped something in your spirit?  I sensed and wanted to act on the idea of the anointing of worship through The RoomsLiving and the anointing of healing through His House working together to give Jesus an opportunity to do what he wanted to do.  Heal his people.

After all, we are a house of healing!  Even as I was preparing this, something caught my eye.  On The RoomsLiving banner it reads, “This room is Yours,” and the name on our “house” is His.  Clearly as I watched the crowd gather we were all expectant.

Alone in the Dark

While praying for guidance about what to share, I was drawn back to something I’d pondered recently.  I had been in the dark, alone, late at night, crying on my bedroom floor beneath one of my favorite paintings by Vanessa Horabuena entitled, The Art of Surrender.  Life in general, and especially in ministry, is not for the faint of heart.

Most people probably believe I started His House to do good, be the Light, be the change, and make a difference; that is true.  But as noble as that sounds, it wasn’t my primary motivation.  The truth is, the following neat and tidy little quote that many of us find comforting is really why this ministry came to be.  It is also why I have had staying power throughout the highs and lows.  I intimately know pain and passionately want to help others with theirs.  I was called to it.

“Your greatest ministry comes not out of your strengths or talents, but out of your painful experiences.”

How else could I prepare our hearts to receive, than to share about my time in the dark, alone, late at night, crying on my bedroom floor while listening to Jason Upton’s, In the Silence.  In the version I found on Spotify he refers to a quote by Theologian, Walter Brueggemann, that says:

“Sometimes praise can be a manifestation of our doubt. God wants to silence us to get to the root of what’s really going on.”

In my research on this quote I found a blog entitled the Trust of Silence where this is shared.

“We are often taught that when we are struggling, we need to pray and praise more–fake it till we make it.  While there is a place for choosing to worship and praise because He is worthy even when we don’t feel like it, there also comes a time when the Lord wants to deal with the depths of our heart.  He does this through silence. We can get so busy praising Him because it’s the right thing to do, that our praise actually becomes a cover-up for our doubt and pain.”

Preparing for the King

In a group that size and from experience, I knew that outwardly some were worshipping with smiles and hands lifted high while inwardly they were dying inside.  Beneath their surface unseen by the natural eye hung a cumbersome, dense blanket of doubt and pain.  They were waiting for answers that don’t seem to be coming.

We have learned at His House that healing comes with exposure.  Like a small child gingerly takes their painful wound to their caregiver, we must take our broken hearts to Him.  When we honestly expose our doubt and pain to Jesus completely stripped of all pretense, He meets us there.

And so last night, I invited anyone who was suffering in any way to sit or stand in silence as I prayed over them.  As we basked in the heavenly presence that filled the room, I challenged us to listen for the Lord to speak to us in a way that we would know it was Him.  He knows us so well.

As The RoomsLiving softly played a holy hush filled the room.  We could have heard a pin drop on the carpet.

Our Prayer

Jesus, we come to expose our doubts and pain.  We ask you to touch our hearts and help us.  We trust that you are always teaching, so help us learn something tonight.

For those of us struggling with loss, help us to know that we are found, that we belong, and that we are whole in You.

For those of us struggling with physical pain, help us to know that you feel it, too.

For those of us struggling with decision-making, give us the direction in which we should go.

For those of us struggling with dark thoughts, illuminate our minds with your truth, peace and love.

For those of us struggling with loneliness, fill our hearts with the fullness of your presence and joy.

For those of us struggling in our marriages, rekindle the love and perseverance we once had.

For those of us who are worrying about our children, help us to know that you see them and love them even more than we do.

For those of us who are in a season of waiting, strengthen our resolve and hope in You.

And for those of us who question that you exist or that you are good, give us many convincing proofs that you do and that you are.

In the name of Jesus, I spoke life and resurrection to every dead feeling space in our souls.

And it was Jesus that we exalted over every worrisome, fearful, and prideful thought or thing that has been trying to set itself up against the true knowledge of our Living God.

In the name of Jesus, I spoke peace to our minds, peace to our hearts, and peace to our bodies.

His Response

As the holy hush lingered, it penetrated hurting hearts and tears began to flow.  An exchange was made.  We traded our doubt and pain for the assurance that his presence and peace had made it through a defensive layer of protection we’d built to prevent further harm.

Our King met us collectively and yet so individually in our places of need.  Jesus was in the room.