I’ve always loved music—all kinds. But if you peeked at my playlists, you’d find two genres at the top: worship and country.

On one hand, worship music is my sanctuary. It’s my way of praising the God who rescued me from myself, who breathed life into dead places and transformed my story. My worship playlists are sacred ground—each song a lifeline, a reminder of His love, His promises, His relentless pursuit of me.

But country music?  For me, that is a whole different kind of holy ground.

Country music is the soundtrack of real life—raw, gritty, messy, and sometimes downright dysfunctional. And I love it for two reasons:

It Keeps Me Humble
It Keeps Me Relevant

HUMILITY THROUGH HONESTY

So many lyrics in today’s country music drag me back—not to relive, but to remember. They describe the early chapters of my story in shocking detail: the skeletons in my closet, the filthy, dusty, dilapidated attic of my mind, once overrun with anger, fear, sadness, and negativity.

If anyone had stepped into that attic back then, they’d have screamed, “Get me out of here!”  But today? I am not that woman.  Ask my husband, my mom, my girls, or my best friend.  God has done serious renovation work in that attic of mine. Sure, sometimes life tries to redecorate it with old junk, but I’ve learned how to clean house fast—with the Holy Spirit as my cleaning crew.

Listening to country music reminds me of the pit I was pulled from.

It keeps my heart soft,
My gratitude deep,
And my faith strong.

God truly does not play favorites. If He rescued me, He can rescue anyone.

STAYING RELEVANT IN THE REAL WORLD

Country lyrics? They’re full of the grief, longing, heartbreak, bad decisions, and survival instincts that many of the women we serve live with every single day. Nowadays the struggles of recovery are flowing freely through lyrics if you listen carefully.

We minister to women facing the darkest parts of life—addiction, abuse and trauma of all kinds, incarceration, poverty, and despair. If we want to really walk with them, we can’t speak “Christianese” and expect connection. They need to know we get it. That we’ve been there. That we’re not shocked by their stories—and we don’t flinch when they share them. Most of the time, our work cannot be scripted pretty and packaged neatly.  It’s raw, emotionally honest, and passionately expressive.

We can’t be so heavenly-minded that we’re no earthly good.

Being fluent in the language of pain helps us revisit a woman’s heartbreaking past with her and gently lead her into the present where she is now safe.  She can begin to rewrite her story—one where healing, freedom, and hope are possible.

CHAIN SMOKING MEMORIES

A strange thing happened on one of my morning walks.  I walk three to four miles each morning—started for health reasons, stayed for the holy moments. It’s my moving sanctuary now. And on one particular day, God used a country song to strike a nerve deep in my spirit.  Here’s the lyric that stopped me cold:

“Ooh-ooh-ooh, I light one up, I burn one down,
I breathe you in, I breathe you out.
Good God, it’s bittersweet,
It’s like cinnamon and nicotine—
And I don’t care if it’s killin’ me,
Can’t stop chainsmokin’ memories.”
Chainsmokin Memories by Thelma & James

Suddenly, I heard the Lord whisper, “Renee, people do this all the time. Especially women. And you did, too.”  We chain smoke our memories.

We light up one hurt after another.
We breathe in loss.
We exhale regret.
We cling to toxic nostalgia.

And we do it again and again—even if it’s killing us softly inside.

THE SCIENCE OF STUCK

Curious, I went home and Googled two things:

1. Why is chain smoking pleasurable?

Answer:  Nicotine triggers dopamine and adrenaline. It creates temporary feelings of energy, focus, pleasure, and well-being. The problem? Nicotine is harmful to the body, yet we need more to extend the feel-goods.  This explains the need and desire to smoke one cigarette after another to keep the feel-goods going.  It is addicting.

And so are our emotional habits.

2. What happens when we ruminate in negativity?

Answer: We flood our systems with cortisol, the stress hormone. Over time, this erodes our emotional and physical health. It disrupts serotonin, oxytocin, and other feel-good chemicals—leaving us stuck in a loop of despair.  Over time the erosion intensifies, we spiral downward, and we don’t know how to stop so we can alleviate that sinking sensation.

Is it any wonder that unresolved trauma can become a form of emotional addiction?

BREAKING THE CYCLE

So how do we stop?  How do we stop “chain smoking memories” and start living free?

You start with desire.
You add safe community.
And you allow the Healer of your soul—Jesus Christ—to take the matches out of your hand.

At His House for Her, we walk this journey every single day with women who want to be free. Women just like you.  We’ve seen the transformation.  We’ve lived the transformation.

You’re not too far gone.
You’re not too broken or wounded.
And you’re definitely not alone.

We’re here, and we understand.

If you’re ready to take the first step toward healing and freedom, visit our residential and outreach services:
👉 hishouseforher.org

Let this be the last cigarette of the past you light. Let healing begin now.
You were made for so much more.